Here’s an intro for ya!

After 28 years of marriage, my husband and I waved the white flag. I think we deserve gold medals for valiance and courage. (Today, we’re excellent co-parents of 5 adult kids and 2 teens.)

Back in my homeschooling 7 kids days, I crafted detailed chore charts (with photos) and thrifty meal plans. I never dreamed one day I’d be drafting a dating profile on Match (with photos), or on the receiving end of a hard sell for unprotected sex by grown-ass men in the 21st century.

Life is a wild ride.

Speaking of online dating, I thought a version of my profile might be an outa-the-box way to introduce myself. (Today’s commentary in parenthesis.)

POV: Dating Profile

I’m 6'1" barefoot, and sometimes I wear heels. (Somewhat successful attempt to weed out insecure men.)

Preferred music volume: loud. My Spotify account is loaded with diverse playlists curated for every possible mood. Those who don’t like music need not apply. (Didn’t narrow the pool enough. Who doesn’t like music?)

I want to dance with somebody. Are you up for learning? (Straight forward; weeds out a fair chunk.)

Winter: I like skiing, snowshoeing, hot springs, and movies. (I wasn’t half as interesting when I was married!)

Summer: Anything involving water. I learned to surf, Idaho style, this summer and loved it! (Pro tip: Do not include bikini shots on Match.)

I’m contagiously happy, compassionate, creative, passionate, and a lifelong learner, including personal growth. (Who am I kidding? Personal growth almost exclusively!)

I paint outside the lines. (Understatement.)

I'm pretty up-front and in back. JUST KIDDING! What I mean is I'm a good communicator. I'll tell you what I want, and what I'm thinking. I definitely want the same from you. (This paragraph is so me.)

I’m allergic to small talk. My motto is “Go deep or go home!” (Totally kidding! I’d never say “Go deep or go home!” in a dating profile.)

You're my dream guy if...

You’ve read Brene Brown and strive to live bravely in life and relationships. (A reliable litmus test at the time.)

You're young at heart, progressive, emotionally intelligent, equal parts goofy & serious, and eager to hear perspectives other than yours. (I may've found the only man in Idaho who fits this description. Well done, Molly!)

Tell me why you think we deserve a shot. (The grand finale!)

I admit it: I think I’m funny.

But, I wasn’t laughing at the long, slow unraveling of my life that resulted in a divorce at age 48. The Holidays came around that first year and my achy-breaky heart wanted nothing to do with Joy to the World. Am I ashamed to admit by the time New Year’s rolled around, I’d published my first profile on Match, half-crazed with grief and looking for love in all the wrong places? No, shame and I don’t hang out much these days.

However, might I suggest you try coaching instead? (Trust me on this.)